Frankly, I'm very, very homesick. Year Three in China is wearing on me something fierce.
10. american traditions and patriotism - I'm not getting into politics about governments and which is better. However, I miss the American pride. Yeah, things are jacked up. But America is my home, I miss it. And I miss how Americans celebrate our country. Even though people have different stances on war, I love how everyone respects those who've served our country. I miss the American holidays. I love that businesses are closed on Christmas. In China, Christmas is just another day and just an excuse to put a Santa Claus decal in your window. I miss the traditional foods that go along with said holidays and events. Pumpkin in the fall, sugar cookies in the winter. Which brings me to the next one...
9. food - you may be surprised that this isn't number one on my list. I do talk about food a lot after all. But no, in the grand scheme of things, it's not the most important. But you know what? Never again will I take for granted the ability to go to the grocery store and buy any and every comfort food my little heart desires. I have to roll my eyes when I see people so set on their "whatever-free" diets. I'm over here like, give me anything that's not Chinese food! And here's something to think about: which is worse? Not having comfort food available at all? Or knowing that it is within arm's reach but costs 5x what it does back home? Seriously... every time I go to City Shop, I find myself eying the $16 small box of Life cereal. It just sits there taunting me. I hate it.
8. owning a car - As much as I raved about public transportation, I do miss having a car. I'm finding that as D gets bigger, getting around is harder. Getting out used to be easy when I could just strap him to me. Now he's well over 20 lbs and way more wiggly. It's hard to walk, take the metro, or ride a bus for too long with all that extra weight. And then, taking a stroller on the bus or metro causes more headache than it's worth. As of late, we've been taking taxis. But with this raises the concern of not having a car seat. For now, I wear him in the carrier and can put a seat belt on over both of us. But soon he'll be too big. I can't imagine a toddler riding in a taxi without any secure car seat. Is it ironic that Danny has modeled so many car seats, but he doesn't even use one? And with having a car, you have the luxury to go wherever, whenever you want. It's nice having that independence. I miss having a car.
7. safety - Living in Shanghai is safe, generally. There's no real risk of getting mugged or shot. However, there is always a risk of getting hit by a car or bus. People ride motorbikes on sidewalks. As a rule, people do not follow rules. I've had way too many close calls. One so recently and terrifying, I seriously considered buying a one way ticket back to the homeland. I miss driving where people obey the traffic lights, where a green pedestrian light means it is safe to walk. Where people yield.
6. ability to blend in - I'm so over the staring. I know they must not consider it rude. But I hate it. I hate the attention we get. I hate that people feel it's ok to get in Danny's face and take a bazillion pictures without our permission. I like being a wallflower. I miss going to Target, doing my shopping in peace. Getting an occasional smile because I have a cute baby with me is enough for me. I'm tired of Danny being a spectacle.
5. space - Personal space is another beautiful luxury that many Americans take for granted. To stand in a line and not have someone shamelessly butt in front of you like a big ol' A-hole...oh the humanity! To have the logic to first wait for people to get out of an elevator before stepping in..oh the common sense! I like that generally in America, people give you personal space. Or if they do bump you, you get an apology.
4. clean air - This is a huge health concern! I've blogged about what the smog is like here, I won't go into it again. But seriously, a young baby's exposure to air pollution can have long term effects. I miss beautiful blue skies and true, fresh, country air. There's only so much an indoor air purifier can do, am I right?
3. church - Not everyone can relate to this one. But having the freedom and accessibility to worship is huge for me. And in America, there are so many options! A person can easily find a place they fit in with and have a community of fellow believers. Here it is a little harder. There are only two "State approved" churches in Shanghai. You must hold a foreign passport to attend the English services. What's that about? They say that you can practice any religion you want here, but why is it so difficult to have community, and why is it so censored? I am really working to make connections, but it is hard.
2. friends - Of course I miss my friends! Something that really makes me sad is all the friends I've left behind in the States. I do have friends here who I treasure. But at home are so many old and new friends that I just miss so much. I'm so blessed to have so many great friends from high school, college, work, and church. I'm blessed that they do their best to keep tabs on me while I'm away. But life in St. Louis doesn't stand still while I'm living abroad. It makes me sick to my stomach that I've missed close friends get married, have kids, and other big life events. Which leads nicely into #1......
1. family - It's obvious that family is what I miss most about home. The same reasons apply here as they do to missing friends. I hate that I'm missing out on life at home with our family members. But, on top of that, I'm sad that our family is missing out on Danny. So many achievements and developments that only we can witness. I. hate. this. I hate that he doesn't have frequent interaction with his grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. I hate that he's more familiar with using Skype to see them. I hate that they won't be celebrating his first birthday with us. How amazing it would be to be in the same timezone again.
America has plenty of imperfections, like all places do. But it's home. It holds so many things that I'll never in a million years ever take for granted again. I've learned to savor every little thing when I go back for a visit. The sights, the smells, the tastes, the beautiful moments with beautiful people that bring me comfort. I miss you, home.
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