You lived in China?

Being new to the area, there's a lot of introductions in my life these days.

Hi, I'm Brit.

Where are you from?
I'm from St. Louis originally, but we've just moved from Shanghai, China.

Wow! You lived in China? What was that like? Did you like it?
If my husband Josh is with me, we usually look at each other, smile, and simultaneously start with a drawn out "Welllllllllll......"

So, while it's still fresh on my mind, let me answer your most challenging questions about my life in China. And remember, this is information from my personal experience. I'm sure all my friends in China would have completely different answers from their Shanghai experience.

Can you speak Chinese?
Josh can. He says he's "functional" I say he's fluent. He worked with almost an all Chinese staff. He can even read and write the characters! I on the other hand, cannot. I could do basic things, like give the taxi driver directions. And I could understand way more than I could say. Especially when people are constantly critiquing my parenting by telling me my kid is not properly dressed for the weather.

Are there really so many people that it's crowded everywhere you go?
OH YES! Shanghai is one of the most populated cities in the world, and you can feel it. Seriously. I would go out in the afternoon, and think, no one will be out because people are at work. How are there this many people not working in the afternoon, really? It's insane! The one exception is the massive migration for Chinese New Year, in which everyone in China goes to their hometown to be with family for the holiday. It's quite nice. Shanghai feels like a ghost town, similar to, say, Indianapolis.

Are you in the military?
Nope. And actually, there are no US military bases in China. China is very strict on who they let into their country. There are so many hoops to jump through to get even a tourist visa.

Were you missionaries?
Nope. And even if we were, we couldn't tell you. It's not permitted to evangelize. Religious organizations must be registered with the government and are closely monitored. I attended an international church in Shanghai, which native Chinese were not allowed to attend. You had to show your passport at the door to prove you were a foreigner.

How long were you there?
We were there for three and a half years. August 2012 to February 2016.

Going to and returning from Shanghai  2012/2016

What brought you to Shanghai?
We originally went over as English teachers the first year. But then my husband got a job as a brewer at Shanghai Brewery, so we stayed a couple more years.

How did he get into that?
Our boss at the school was extremely difficult to work with so we started brainstorming career changes. When we were at one of our favorite hangout spots, Josh got connected to the owner, and the rest in history.

What's the beer scene like in China?
(Josh would be better to answer this but I'll do my best.) You can find big western names like Budweiser and Guinness. Most of mainstream Chinese beer are lagers. Popular brands include Tsingtao and Harbin. Microbreweries are relatively new in China. When we first arrived in China, Shanghai Brewery was only one of a couple breweries in the city.  As we left in February, there are now more than 20 microbreweries in the Shanghai. The demand for craft beer is high partially because there's such a large expatriate population. The locals are even getting into craft beer. Little shops are popping up all over Shanghai that exclusively sell imported craft beer.  New microbreweries are also appearing all over the country. Anheuser Busch has been working on producing Goose Island in China.

Did you continue teaching when Josh changed jobs?
I completed my first year, then got pregnant with Danny (he's 2 now). I did a little tutoring and worked at a learning center on the weekends.

Did you have your son in China?
I had both of my boys in China.

What were the hospitals like?
There's a wide variety of hospitals in China. You can pay just a few bucks to see a doctor at a local hospital, or you can pay $100+ at an international hospital.  Both of my sons' births were crazy. You can read about their birth stories here and here. After it's all said and done, I'm so happy to have had my boys in China.  We were able to have a lot of control by being difficult foreigners. We questioned everything, and we stood our ground on what we did and did not want to do. This was important because I felt some of the procedures were very questionable. But the best part is that it was SO cheap to have a baby in a local hospital. You can pay as much if not more than you would in America to have a baby in the international hospitals. We did not have that kind of money or insurance. We did have enough cash to shell out for a VIP private room in a local hospital. There's nothing VIP about it though, besides the lack of a roommate. The room was worn out, my hospital pajamas had holes in them, and it was obvious that nothing has been updated in that room for the last 10-15 years. The second time around, we opted out of the hospital food. The last thing I wanted after giving birth was congee and a hard boiled egg. 

VIPs chillin' after birth (hospital pants are way too short)

Do your kids have dual citizenship?
They do not. The only way a baby can get Chinese citizenship is if one of the parents is Chinese. And if that's the case, they must give up citizenship of the other parent's country. My boys are full on Americans, made in China. They have Chinese birth certificates which we took to the US consulate to get "Birth Abroad" Certificates, passports, and social security numbers.

Passport photos! Danny/Benji, both at 2 weeks old

What was it like raising young kids there?
My experience raising kids in China is short lived (just over 2 years) but anyone would assume it's so much different than in the US. There are a lot of cool things and a lot of really crappy/annoying things. One good thing is that help is cheap! Many families hire an ayi, which is like a household helper/nanny.  For a short time, we hired a lady named Lola who came a few hours each week. She would watch Danny while I went out to run errands, and she cleaned my house for me! And, it was so nice to be able to have a babysitter whenever Josh and I wanted to go out on a date. Danny loved her. Another thing I loved about living there was that my kids were exposed to so many different cultures. At two years old, Danny has friends from all over the world. And he's tried (and likes) such a wide variety of food at such a young age. He loves kimchi!

Danny the Kimchi Monster

For me personally, I found that there were more cons to raising kids in Shanghai. As neat, exciting, and unconventional it was, there were a lot of negatives. For one, I didn't like how terribly far we were from family. Not that we are that close now, but at least we're on the same continent. And there are a few other concerns that I often had to put out of my mind to save my sanity. The continual smog is my biggest annoyance. China is notorious for having the worst air in the world, and I can tell you it really is terrible. It's not all the time, but occasionally, the air is so polluted that you can feel it on your skin, and in your eyes and throat. We were there in November 2013 when it reached a record high, off the AQI chart. I hated thinking that my kids could become asthmatic just from living in the city.

 One perk to city life is access to public transportation. This is phenomenal if you don't have two babies with you. The subways and buses are not stroller friendly. And, you can't just haul car seats around with you after riding in a taxi. We did not have the luxury as some expats to have a personal driver. When I only had one kid, I frequented the subway and buses with the baby carrier and it was simple enough. Once I became really pregnant the second time, I had to have a stroller for Danny. Every little outing became such a hassle. So my options were A. Carry the stroller up and down 80+ steps to use the subway. B. Awkwardly lift a stroller with kid onto a bus with my big pregnant belly. Or C. Take a taxi which is super unpredictable especially at a busy time of day. And once I'm in a cab, I had to try to keep my toddler from climbing all over the backseat. I usually opted for the bus. (Read my scary bus story: here). I can imagine that raising older kids in Shanghai would be so much more enjoyable and rewarding. They'd remember these great experiences and they could walk! And I imagine my physical exhaustion would be less. I should have made the most of having groceries delivered, but I found myself walking my big pregnant self to the grocery store 20 min away with the double stroller. It was a great system and a good practical workout; except for the times it rained. I'm so thankful to be back in the US. In America, the the hardest part of grocery shopping is getting the kids in and out of the car! Easy peasy!

Caught in the rain on the way home from Carrefour

One thing that kind of sucked with little kids in the city is the lack of children's activities. There are "Mommy and Me" classes and indoor play areas which are all way too expensive. I couldn't make a habit of paying 150RMB (over $22) for my kid to play inside a mall for an hour. When the weather was nice, we could walk to Xujiahuai park which has a playground, but it was always so crowded. And we got way too much attention (I'll get back to that.) It was nice to have so many other expat moms and kids live nearby. We made the most of play dates. Last summer, we discovered a pool in the neighborhood. And it seemed that no one even knew of it's existence! It was expensive, but we splurged on a month long pass shared with friends.

Cooling off in the hot city summer

A really weird thing about being an expat in China, was all the attention Danny would get. And it got even worse when Benji was born. When I was out on the street with them, I always kept a brisk pace. If I slowed down, I would be swarmed by people just wanting to see these unique blue eyes and blond hair. I can understand their curiosity, but I did not appreciate them rudely taking pictures or touching my kids without asking. I'm telling you, it happened everywhere we went.

You won't believe how many pictures I have like this actually.

I decided to use this special attention to Danny's advantage. He had a short lived modeling career while we were in China. This was great because because he loved it and it was something fun and random to do. Also, we were able to start a savings account for him.

Is that ironic that D modeled car seats but never actually used one?

What is the food like?
Most everyone knows that American Chinese food is nothing like true Chinese food. I mean, it is similar. And there definitely were dishes that reminded me of food from home. It's not even a fair assessment to tell you what Chinese food is like when every part of China has such different food. From the little I've had, I've noticed a lot of grease. So much oil is used almost always. Probably our favorite of the Chinese fare is food from Xinjiang (western China), which in Shanghai is normally advertised as "Muslim Restaurant" This food is superior, and very very similar to middle-eastern food: lamb, hummus, beef, peppers, garlic. I have never had green beans like the ones at the Muslim restaurant in our neighborhood. I'll take a barrel, please! Dumplings are one of the most popular foods from China, and one of the things most people miss most when they leave. But not me.... I tried and tried to like all of them, from the little boiled ones (xiao long bao), the soup filled ones (sheng jian bao), or the puffy steamed buns (baozi). Nope. Can't stand them. I'm super grossed out by the ground up whatever that's inside. Some other things I stayed away from were the chicken feet and straight up pig fat. Although, I must say, I have become a chopstick master. You should see me peel a shrimp.

Best green beans ever.

My favorite Chinese food (besides the green beans) are all the veggie side dishes. Most Dongbei (north east) restaurants serve family style, meaning that, if you order green beans, it's big enough for everyone to have some. There are so many tasty dishes: eggplants, peppers, green beans, and/or potatoes, usually covered in a salty but delicious gravy. And a weird one I've come to love is tomatoes mixed with scrambled eggs. There is also a soup version of this. We've also really enjoyed these Xi'an style wraps in which a dude carves off some roasted meat off the kebab wheel and mixes it with greens and hot pepper sauce into flat bread.

Another great thing about Shanghai that I really miss is the food delivery! Ordering McDonald's online was just way too convenient. It literally would arrive 15 minutes after I ordered it. There isn't only fast food delivery either. So many local and foreign restaurants will deliver. Taco Mama's is the best Mexican food in town. And they even deliver margaritas! How I miss that!

Can you find American groceries there?
Absolutely. But most of them are so expensive. What I've seen is that imported foods cost between 2-5 times what it costs in the States. Some of my little splurges included:

cheese ($5 for 200 grams which is less than half a pound)
brownie mix ($6)
cereal (between $5-15 per box)
microwave popcorn ($5 for 3 bags)
chocolate chips ($8 a bag)
butter ($5 for 250 grams, or roughly two sticks)
Hunt's pasta sauce ($4)

Vegetables, fruit, and meat were always affordable (with the exception of beef). Milk and bread are available everywhere for 4x what you would pay in America. We ate out a lot because it was less of a hassle, and sometimes a lot cheaper than cooking at home.

Some of my very favorite Christmas presents!

Why did you leave?
 After Benji was born, we were starting realize how difficult it was with two little ones in the city. As I said earlier, I think living there with older kids would be way easier. I was worried about their little lungs, and all the pollution they were exposed to. And I hated the dangerous traffic. I got accustomed to the crazy flow of traffic, but a toddler can run in the wrong direction in an instant....you know. Also, I hated that they were so far away from their grandparents. There is so much growth and development in the first few years of life. I don't want our family to miss out on all that. Besides that, I think China kind of hardened us. It was time for a change of scenery and breath of fresh air.

What was it like?

I think I elaborated with previous questions, to give you a good idea of what it was like. In a word, I'd say it was surreal. Sometimes it seemed so normal and other times, it had to have been a dream.

 Did you like it?    {The million dollar question}

Never in all my years, did I even want to visit China. And off we went living, working, and having babies in China. Some days I feel like it's where we belong. Our fellow expat friends are in the same boat. It's easy to have camaraderie and completely fit in with other misfits. They just get it. I learned a lot about the world, life, faith, relationships, and myself in China. Already, the details are starting to become fuzzy. The negative memories are fading, while these uniquely beautiful memories shine even brighter than when they were first taking place.

So, yes. I liked it!

Visiting Yu Garden, December 2012