Paparazzi

There's a huge learning curve when it comes to parenting. I thought it would be easier (go ahead, laugh at my naivety). But, figuring things out in China is even more peculiar. I would imagine in the States, taking a baby out is a little less scary.

Here are the things I have to consider when taking the baby out:

Transportation: Do I take the subway? bus? or taxi? We don't do car seats and we've not yet bought a stroller. I've only taken Danny in a taxi, and it seems every single time he wails and wails and wails! I would imagine this would be less frustrating in your own vehicle where you don't have a taxi driver turning up the radio over the crying while judging your parenting skills. I've avoided the bus and subway for two reasons really: the crowds and the attention. Yesterday I took the bus on my own and it was so crowded. People were pushing and squeezing. I was doing my best to keep from toppling over a little old lady seated in front of me. How are you supposed to deal with that with a baby strapped to you? The same situation applies on the subway, sometimes that's even worse.

Smog: When it's bad outside, it's worse for a baby. You can feel it on your clothes, in your eyes, down your throat. It's disgusting. Why would I want to expose this dear little boy to that crap? Josh's sweet band mates gifted us with an air purifier when Danny was born. I am so thankful! Now we have a sanctuary in which we can hide out while we look out at the haze outside.

Changing the baby: In the States, you can can find changing stations pretty much anywhere you go. Or worst case scenario, you can change him in your car. What's a mom to do in Shanghai where most places don't have public bathrooms. Or, if they do, it's just a hole in the ground. True story. Now I understand why they change their babies on the restaurant tables (but it's still nasty).

Attention: In America, a crying baby creates attention. Sure, that happens anywhere. Here too. Though, we've already got plenty of attention. It used to be that Josh and I would get stared out for my blond hair, his big red beard, or our light colored eyes. Throw a white baby in there and you've got the paparazzi on you. I'm not kidding.

Last week, Josh and I were invited to join some friends for dinner at the local Chinese Muslim restaurant in our neighborhood. Because we were close enough to home, I knew we wouldn't have to worry about the transportation, smog, or changing a diaper. But oh, the attention!

We got there early, and you would have thought Brangelina walked in with their twenty kids. All the workers crowded around us grabbing Danny's feet and hands, patting his head. They were all smiles asking how old he was, when he was born, etc. Then we were seated and the attention intensified. Out came the camera phones. From every angle, servers and patrons were snapping pictures of our baby. I turned around to look behind my seat and there was a woman reaching over the booth with her camera. OMG. Our friends showed up and the attention died down a bit because were were no longer "The white baby" but now "the group of foreigners" but I still noticed many people pointing and whispering throughout our meal.

I guess we got a little taste of what celebrities must feel like. Holy cow, it was awful! I'm saying this only because I DO NOT like a lot of attention. I get nervous when too many people are looking at me at once and sometimes I even get a tic. Everyone was just curious and excited. It's not every day they get to see a (super) white baby with huge blue eyes. But please, China, let us be wallflowers!

And that is why Danny and I are hermits.